Open Declaration of Imperfections

Perfection is Stagnation

How many of you struggle with the feelings of imperfection?

Are you being held back out of fear of your imperfections?

I am!!!

So here is the deal, I need to let you know that I am struggling with being imperfect.

I’ve known that I’ve wanted to help people. This website has been with me for over 10 years and has had many changes. It’s time to stop changing it in hopes that I feel like an expert in order to share anything.

I’m not an expert in anything

But I sure do know a whole hell of a lot about a few things.

Even if I had years of training, I doubt I would ever feel like an expert. There are always other people on this planet that will have different/more knowledge even if I focus on one topic. So please forgive me if I don’t want to tout myself as an expert to gain your trust. I don’t know of any expert on real life and that’s what I want to blog about.

I really just want to have a conversation

Honestly, for right now I just want to connect with other people who can identify with the struggles of living with chronic illness and what it is that they need to fulfill life dreams. I know that we all have different needs and I’m going to say that I’m a bit lazy in wanting to assume what it is that you really need. So, talk to me. 🙂

I’m probably going to write to you like this often

Part of my roadblock is the technical side of how we are taught our blog posts need to look, feel, say, etc. Ugh!!! I was sharing with a friend my frustration and she said…. Write to your readers the way you’d write to a friend. That is EXACTLY what I really want to do honestly, imperfections and all.

I’ve been talking to you in my head for years

I have no idea who you are but, I’ve been talking to you in my head for years. I know that I can share some of my experiences with you but I also don’t want to come across as beating you up for not doing something you probably should. Hey, I know the struggles!!! I’m living them every day too. But I’ve had a wake up call slap me upside my head recently to make me want to take action about my wellness and to finally start working on my own dreams more (This blog being one of them).

I consider myself an Intuitive Dream Weaver

I’ve helped many achieve their own dreams in person but my physical ability to do that is not there right now. I want to continue to help people achieve their dreams in life, especially those with chronic illness. There is still hope, even if your dream has to be modified, let’s figure out a way to get you there!  

Our biggest roadblock are our own thoughts

I know this. You probably know this too.

It’s not easy to change the way we talk to ourselves. I get it, there are people who say, “just think positive.”. I don’t know about you but I sure do feel the urge to be really sarcastic and reply, “Don’t you think it if was THAT simple for ME that I wouldn’t already being doing that?” The statement is still true, I hope to help you take baby steps to change that conversation in your head. It’s easy to throw out expressions, it’s more difficult to help teach someone to do it when you don’t understand why they can’t. I understand why you can’t.

So here’s the deal…

This is probably the WORST decision ever by posting this according to experts. But, I need to share my fears with you so that I can get past them and let this blog become what I want it to be – driven by it’s readers.

I don’t want to assume anything. I want to encourage you to comment on posts as to how it was helpful or if you have further questions, ask!

Here are some things you can expect from me that I’m fearful about

I suck at photography. But I do my best and hopefully I’ll get better over time.

I ramble sometimes and I need that. (like this post)

At first I may be inconsistent in my posts. I’m dealing with chronic illness like the rest of you, so please be gentle with me. <3 But I’m going to work on a way to get better at it. I overthink everything (can you blame me with how we are told we have to be perfect to post anything?)

I want this to be a journey together. I’m sure there are plenty of things that I can learn from my readers as much as you can learn from me and my experiences. We’re in this together.

We are told never to talk about ourselves and yet I see some really awesome bloggers out there and that’s all they talk about. I follow them because I enjoy their story. I’m going to talk about myself in hopes that you enjoy mine or that it’s helpful in some way. It’s how I relate to people, if I have a similar experience then it makes me feel like I have a closer connection and in sharing my experience, I hope that it helps someone not feel alone.

I’m scared shitless of trolls, grammar Nazis and others who seem to get their thrills out of putting other people down for not having the same level of knowledge. I understand that I don’t write the best but at least I’m giving it a go. Give me credit for that.

Why do I want this blog so bad?

I haven’t had the best life up until pretty much 2016 when we acquired The Wobble House. I’ve gone through some shit and I feel like I could help others who are going through the same get through it. I want them to know that it may seem like a lifetime at the moment but there are brighter skies in the future.

What is my mud?

Fibromyalgia/Chronic Pain, Depression, Anxiety (HOLY HELL A LIST OF THESE). I hit rock bottom in November 2016. Seriously rock bottom, physically, emotionally and mentally. I’m still recovering but getting stronger in all areas every day.

What am I doing about it?

I finally found a doctor that started exactly where I really have wanted to forever – my gut.

Currently I am working through the Autoimmune Protocol Diet to identify foods that may be causing pain/illness.

I am choosing to take a Naturopathic approach to my healthcare with herbal supplements.

I see an acupuncturist and a chiropractor as part of my healthcare team.

I’m seeing an amazing mental health therapist. Along with this I go to a weekly water group for mental health therapy. We practice Ai Chi for relaxation.

My amazing man bought me a trike!!! I just rode it to my water class for the first time last week and it kicked my ass but in a good way!

I’m using our newly acquired urban homestead as therapy. This is a big one for me. Physically, mentally and emotionally this is by far one of my favorite therapies.

I continue to educate myself on new techniques to try.

I’m revisiting my knowledge of nutrition to slap myself upside the head and stay on track!

I listen to extremely loud and intense music as much as possible. Music moves my soul. It was one of the biggest factors in my recovering from my breakdown.

Technically I’m ahead of a really big goal I set for myself

When I had my breakdown, I didn’t know if I would ever be able to care for myself again. I had no idea if I would ever get past the feeling like my brain could only function at the level of a 3 year old.

When I finally felt that there was hope I gave myself until 2018 to start my blog. I say start my blog because even though I’ve had this domain for over 10 years, I wasn’t really doing what I should have been and it wasn’t what I wanted it to be.

So here I am… June of 2017 and I’m blogging. Scared shitless but still doing it.

If you don’t mind my imperfections, I don’t mind yours.

What’s your story? What dreams are you working on? What dreams do you want to work on?

Let me know in the comments!

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6 thoughts on “Open Declaration of Imperfections

  1. I enjoy your posts and can identify with much of it. I don’t really know what to comment, except from my own struggles, which are not getting a lot better! sigh.

    I’ve been paralyzed by my perfectionism, too. I can’t seem to get back into my cross stitch designing. I do sell if I design, but something stops me. Is the color actually the color of the floss? Is that going to look right in the real world (not just on my computer screen)? Will stitchers like it? Am I pricing it too high? Will I be judged negatively? And so much more. sigh. Okay, I’m going to go now and do the one thing I have been able to do. That is, redo, correct, improve, the existing designs I have so far up on etsy. hmmm maybe if I set myself little goals, like I will check and color correct the yellows, browns and creams I need for the draft horse project. Or try and figure out how wordpress works, as I have a couple sites on their and I keep forgetting how to make it work! Arrgggg, I’m stuck!
    I want to put my thoughts up on them, but what if someone judges me; What if someone thinks that since I can write a little and design a little that I’m not actually disabled? what if what if what if what if.
    okay before I ramble on I will say, thank you for putting yourself out there. Seeing others struggle with similar issues always helps me. I wish you much strength of purpose and progress on your life goals.

    1. Laura!!

      Oh my!! I can so understand. I do my own graphics and understand the color thing. Here is what I have found though – every computer user has different settings. What you may see on your computer may not be what others see, don’t worry about it! Look at your work as a guide, someone else may choose different colors all together.

      WORDPRESS!!! Oh darlin I can help you there!! I know that having a site on the wordpress site itself is different than self hosting (which is what I do) BUT, I do have an account on and can maybe answer some questions if you have something specific come up.

      I struggle with putting myself out there too and if I will be seen as being disabled or not. I know what I am and although it’s difficult when fighting for disability (which I’m there too) I have a new outlook on things. What if I do well enough with my abilities that I have working from home that I won’t need that disability declaration from the government? How will I know if I don’t give it a go?

      I have seen you grow so much in the last few years. I’ve seen you pick up your hobbies again and I’ve seen you create beautiful things. I see progress!! Keep it up!

  2. <3 you Sister! So proud of you. One of my biggest challenges is allowing myself to be imperfect. It's okay for everyone else to make mistakes, but NOT ME! LOL Still working on it!

    1. I’m still there!! I think I’m my biggest critic. Unfortunately some of these fears that I list are from what I see people say on social media and in comments on articles and of course my working past. Plus the “experts” tell ya you gotta be perfect. I get it, I’m going to work on the skillz that I need to work on but in the mean time… take me as I am today. I understand where you’re coming from. Given we have similar professional background, I think we see it there too. I’m going to go out on a limb and say this…. Ladies, drop the office politics. It’s not pretty and it’s more damaging than you may realize!!! Be nice to each other, lift each other instead of trying to tear each other down.

  3. It’s ok to be scared shitless. I still am and I’ve been blogging for over 5 years. Just don’t let that fear stop you from doing what you want to do: sharing your story. Continue to share your imperfections.

    Onward and upwards! 🙂

    1. Thank you Karen!! I LOVE your blog by the way!!! You have some great inspirational stuff for those looking to build their business! I’ll be catching up on some of your blog posts. Blogging has changed my life several times as well. THIS blog has changed a few times over the last 10 years of me having it. I understand more now about how it all works, that helps. lol
      Thanks for stopping by!

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